Is Glennon Doyle’s memoir UNTAMED worthwhile reading?
what it’s about
This is the third memoir of American author and activist Glennon Doyle, who in her mid-thirties, as a married, heterosexual mother of three, falls head over heals in love with another woman and discovers how freeing it is to stop pleasing others, unleash her inner fire and live a life of unapologetic, personal truth. A lucid, inspiring account of bravery and how different it looks in each one of us.
first impression
Absolutely adored the cover. When I got home and unwrapped the delivery box, the beautifully wild, colourful design immediately sparked joy within. Glittering amber varnish flooding into pools of turquoise, violet, red, rose and purple blues, all melting into one another. I had to start reading on the spot, that’s how much the art work ignited my curiosity.
key insight
Bravery comes from within. It’s not about doing what the world thinks ‘brave’ is. It’s acting in alignment with your innate truth, even though that might cause friction, discomfort or criticism from the external world.
inspiring thought
“Rebellion is as much of a cage as obedience is. They both mean living in relation to someone else’s way instead of forging your own.” (p.92)
content overview
The subjects covered in this memoir range from addiction, recovery, mental health, parenting, gender equality, racism to discovering true love and living a blended family life. The underlying theme: collectively “rise higher” as a society through individual healing, self-respect and integrity.
overall impression
Glennon is the queen of metaphors. She finds astonishingly clear, commonplace examples to illustrate the most intimate, personal experiences. This makes her memoir so powerful: it’s relatable, even if we haven’t faced the same struggles or suffered similar fall-backs.
Even though I do not have children, I am especially impressed by her consciously uncompromising, no-nonsense style of parenting. Her sense of responsibility, degree of self-reflection, emotional accountability, clear communication and ability to set healthy boundaries, even when that means disappointing or letting go of close friends or beloved family members, are on another level.
criticism
‘Navigating challenges and hardships is strenuous, but you’ll get through, if you align with your internal compass,’ something Glennon refers to as her inner ‘knowing’. But what do you do if you have not yet found a way to connect with or listen to that inner truth?
For many, including myself, releasing emotional and mental burdens of conditioning in order to differentiate between attained values and inherent convictions takes years of exploration. Reading this memoir could partly evoke the misleading impression that your deep source of ‘knowing’ is accessed within a few sessions of ‘locking yourself in a closet, stilling your mind and dropping deep within.’
Learning to meditate, to re-kindle an inner truth that is buried under layers of family expectations, societal norms and worldly responsibilities is a journey that may take years of dedicated practice. While this might seem like common knowledge, I would have appreciated greater emphasis and acknowledgement of the challenging aspects of introspection. In my experience, self-reflection takes time and space to come to fruition.
Secondly, while I was immediately hooked by Glennon’s boldness, willingness to be vulnerable and share her raw truth, I had difficulties taking her narrative at ‘face value.’ Considering the publication of her past memoir LOVE WARRIOR (an account on saving her first marriage), coincided with Glennon’s realisation that she had fallen in love with someone else completely, I felt somewhat weary of / detached towards her current story.
Having said that, reflecting her memoir reminded me of the idea that ‘truth is fluid,’ always in transition and can only ever be a reflection of the present moment. What counts is transparency and sharing from the heart. This notion allowed me to soften to Glennon’s narrative and open up towards the empowering messages behind her personal accounts.
verdict
A relatable, inspiring, thought-provoking, nicely paced read. Hang on in there! Gets most interesting as of section three (p.81)
